


How did It end up like this?

by ShakespeareWar



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Bad Decisions, Bad Writing, Blood and Violence, Chaptered, Clary is a bitch, Demisexual Raphael Santiago, Everyone Is Gay, First Kiss, Gay, Help, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kissing, LGBTQ Character, Love/Hate, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Possible Relationship, Raphael Santiago Is So Done, Vampires, might continue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-21 18:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14920947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShakespeareWar/pseuds/ShakespeareWar
Summary: Raphael feels like Simon has abandoned him. Simon needs someone to help him grieve.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Bear with me. I know this is probably really bad but I wrote it at 4 in the morning causs I had nothing to do. Its angsty and I'm going to be that way until the show ends then I'm going to be angstier. Rip Shadowhunters.

Raphael looked at Simon with the fiery passion that even the devil would fear. His dark brunette hair was a mess. "Even starvation can't shut you up. But when someone tries to help you, You turn your back on them! Simon, You turned you back on your own kind to go on some arrogant mission with the shadow hunters. I trusted you."  
The Hispanic man said as if he was trying not to let his tears release. You could still see that dark shade of scarlet pooling his his eyes, and the dark purple circling his eyes as if he hadnt slept in weeks.  
Simon was so confused, he looked at his hands. Blood. His face..blood.  
There was blood all over him.  
"Raphael I'm so sorry."  
He said as he took a shaky step towards the clan leader.  
"Don't you dare fucking touch me, daylighter. I don't need your pity." He growled.   
The fangs that used to be the prettiest thing in the world to Simon were now a sign of anger and sadness.   
The anguish they had both felt over the losses.  
Raphael lost his sister. Simon lost his mother.  
Neither one had each other. It was horrible.  
The Jewish male looked at himself then looked at the darker male, "Raphael..Please. I'm so sorry. Please." Simons face now streaking with the red pooling down from his brown eyes.  
"Please what?! You abandoned us Simon! You left us here while you ran off with a girl that didn't want you!" Raphael bit back.  
Simon felt his heart ache at that.  
"Get it through your thick, thick skull Simon Lewis...Clary doesn't want you. She never did. She used you for her own gain-" he started walking towards him, "She was selfish. She made you what you are instead of letting you die peacefully. She is what led to you 'incanto'-ing your own mother into thinking you are dead. Simon, you almost killed your sister."  
Simon, now a ball of pure depression and anxiety, looked at him. "I didnt mean to..I didn't want to. Raphael you have to believe me."  
Santiago, who sobbed, gave him a look.  
"My sister..is dead. And she didn't even know who I was. I could only see her at night. I asked you how to become a daylighter, you fucking blew me off. You shrugged me of like I was dirt on your shoulder." He shoved Simon.

"Raph.."  
"You aren't getting out of this, Clay can't save you this time. You are Vampire problem now."   
The Latino grabbed the male by his collar.  
Both of their faces had potent rouge liquid streaking down it.  
Simon caught the man's lips.  
Raph did nothing but closed his eyes. He slowly began to kiss him back.

"I hate you." He mumbled.  
"I hate you more." Simon wryly laughed.


	2. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again writing at 4 am. I'm sorry if its shotty.

The service of Venus was really calling the shots now. Raphael never looked so feverish. Simon had a glint in his eye that the older vamp had never seen. After the forming of the beast with two backs they laid there sprawled out on the floor. 

"Oh my god I hate you."  
"I hate you so much more." 

They looked at each other, finding the broken pieces of each other and molding them back into place. The pieces were jagged and crazy but they seemed to fit so well amongst each other.  
"We don't have to tell anyone about this right?" "No. I would prefer not to. Your shadowhunter friends might end me."  
Raphael slight fixed his hair, as he shifted to look over the beautiful pale face of a boy he had known for a short time.  
It seemed like it was only yesterday he helped the selfish red head bring a best friend back to life. What was the point of bring him back of he was just going to suffer more? She left him high and dry. The only time she wanted him was when she thought she was shagging her long lost brother.  
He placed a cold hand in Simon's face, though he wouldnt know if he was ice or fire considering they didn't feel temperature.  
"Simon Lewis..You are so beautiful"  
'You are so pure. Right from your curly brown locks, to those big brown eyes, down to the tips of your fingers.' He thought.

How sappy. It made him want to vomit. 

"If I were Frodo and you were the One Ring, Middle-earth would be toast." Simon laughed throwing an olive arm over the male.

"Are you saying you love me? Cause that's disgusting."  
"Are you saying you've never seen lord or the rings? That's worse."

They both sat there laughing at each other. Deep down inside they were still hurting but the jagged puzzle piece now looked a little bit clearer than before. It was actually kind of beautiful.  
They stayed there, a pile a broken but beautiful mess for a while.  
That was before Simon's phone rang. He sighes and answer it.  
Raphael could hear Clary talk about something happened with the Seelie queen.  
The daylighter could care less.  
"Clary..Clary...Clary! Calm down, jeez. Why don't you get one of your shadowhunter friends to do it. I am kind of in the middle of something...Yes its important!" He growled.  
Raph plucked the phone of of his veiny hands, "I'm something. Good night Clarrisa." Raph hung up the phone and threw it on the couch.  
"She's going to be mad at me." The Jewish male sighed.  
"So. Its her fault for stirring the pot. You aren't her lap dog, Simon." He stood up and stretched his back, walking into his kitchen.  
Simon got up and sat on the bed. He picked up his pants and put them on.  
Raph stood shamelessly in his underwear behind the counter.  
"I am craving alcohol..weird." The Latino man mumbled.  
"Its normal for me." Simon shrugged then realised how sad that was.  
He sighed.  
"I have to visit Magnus sometime today, would you like to come?"  
"What about Alec?"  
"What about him?"


End file.
